The Advantages of Living Out Loud!
By Keith Varnum
Every time someone asks us a question, we have a choice to make, “How much truth shall I express?” “How much of my True Self should I reveal?”
Among our choices are the “convenient” truth, the “diplomatic” truth, the “socially accepted” truth, or the “absolute” truth—that is, “the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God!”
Do any of us even know the absolute truth about any situation in our lives? And can we ourselves handle the whole truth all at once about any subject? Let alone share that depth with others?
I make a practical choice. I state to myself this daily intention:
“I allow myself to express as much truth as I am now safe and clear enough to express lovingly and gracefully.”
What’s the Big Deal?
Why is it so important to tell as much truth as you can in life?
There’s an awesome power in personal authenticity and accuracy. When we express ourselves genuinely, we’re choosing freedom and happiness over the prison and pathos of lies.
When we tell the truth, we bring ourselves into the joy of integrity simply by describing what is so. We exchange the suffering of lying for the delight of heartful expression. An honest person is unbound and content by virtue of not being lost in their own fictions.
Living Out Loud
Living Out Loud is communication that is honest, open, direct, complete and transparent. Until we are honest with who we are, we can never really connect with other people. Releasing a heavy load of pretense leads to real aliveness and intimacy with others. When we shed our armor and start telling the truth, we are accepted by others. And we then have the freedom to create what we want in life according to our own preferences, rather than imagined obligations and role requirements.
Telling more truth more of the time is a great way to live and a great way to love. We’re not loving anybody to whom we are lying. Contrary to what your mind might tell you, lies don’t help you attract more love, romance and sex. Truth does!
A Lying Lifestyle
In a recent survey of 40,000 Americans, 93% admitted to lying “regularly and habitually in the workplace.” And we lie almost as much in our personal lives. By making lying a lifestyle, we’ve missed the creative power and fun of simply being our Real Selves. Lying isn’t wrong; it’s just very hazardous to our health and happiness.
When We Tell the Truth, We:
· Quit invalidating the brilliant nature of our unique spirit
· Interact with others as the wise beings we are, instead of the masks we are not
· Expose the untruths in the present that are blocking our health, wealth and happiness
· Discover firsthand that life works best when we express ourselves authentically
· Are the same person with everyone in our lives: our parents, family, friends, lover, boss
Quit the Maintenance Project
Lying to ourselves and others by trying to maintain a false picture of our life is the primary source of most tension and anxiety. The stress of constantly pretending, avoiding being found out, and trying to maintain inauthentic relationships is an ongoing source of inner conflict and misery.
Popular Fallacies about the Benefits of Lying:
1. The mind often tells us that we need to lie about something to stay safe. But by being inaccurate about the facts, we mislead ourselves into perceiving a false reality. And, in the absence of clarity and accuracy, our life decisions are made from cover-up and denial, which is anything but safe.
2. Our emotions say to us that the truth is too scary. But the truth leads to relief, release and freedom. Lying leads to a self-imposed fear of life itself—that is, the actual reality of any situation.
3. The mind convinces us that lying is easy. In actuality, lies take immense amounts of energy to maintain—and thus deplete our vitality. And being dishonest is restrictive. Open, spontaneous, unedited expression is invigorating
4. Many people believe that it works to lie. At first people may buy into your misinformation. But deep down everyone knows when we’re lying to them. Our honest feedback or response is the greatest gift we can give to another person. People love us when we give up our pretense. And, remember, our life experiences are uniquely ours. Validation by others doesn’t make our experience right. Disagreement doesn’t make our experience wrong.
5. A commonly held belief is that lying is practical. This may appear to be the case in the short run. However, the truth about any situation eventually comes to the surface. Then the lie has created a bigger problem than it originally avoided. Lying is not effective over the long haul of life. When we don’t admit right away what is real and factual, false assumptions get set in motion that eventually backfire on us.
The Truth is Our Best Friend
Joy and love grow and last when our daily expression is aligned with our soul purpose and passion. It’s more fun and exciting to be aware and accurate than it is to be numb and in denial. Once we experience the difference between the aliveness of being present and the dullness of being unconscious, we realize the choice is a no-brainer, so to speak!
Benefits of Honest Communication
Telling the truth creates:
· Improved relationships with boss, peers and clients at work
· Increased sexual pleasure with your partner
· A body and environment that truly supports us in being ourselves
· Rapid healing of the past
· A livelihood that expresses one’s genuine self
· More effectiveness in manifesting the future you desire
· A lighter, easier life that is more fulfilling
Truth Begets Energy
When we’re in our minds thinking—and editing what we’re saying—we’re lost somewhere in the remembered past or imagined future. We’re not here and now where our creative power is.
As we show up fully in the present to handle each moment of life accurately, we emancipate tremendous energy that comes home to us as our personal power. More energy can flow through a congruent, aligned life. Each time we align our actions with our Real Self, the energy is released that was holding the non-harmonious lies in place. As we deal with each new life encounter with integrity, we naturally undo the patterns of inaccurate, inappropriate and non-aligned decisions that were made when we were lying. We can use this liberated creative life force to fund our deepest dreams.
When we tell ourselves the truth about what truly is—and is not—working in our lives, we can make real and lasting changes. Real magic occurs when we deal with what is really so in our lives, instead of what we wish, think, believe, hope or assert is true.
Being present in our truth is more effective, helpful, powerful, safe and loving than living unconsciously in lies.